A mom shares why she cut off her cousin’s babysitting duties after unintentionally discovering her 22-year-old’s toxic “stan” account filled with hateful content—an important lesson in setting boundaries and modeling kindness for children .
Unexpected Discovery Sparks Concern
A concerned mother recently revealed her decision to stop allowing her 22-year-old cousin Lara from babysitting her daughter—after accidentally stumbling upon Lara’s “stan” account . The cousin had inadvertently liked one of the mom’s posts while logged into that account revealing content filled with hateful remarks and “stan wars” targeting celebrities and their fans .
What Are “Stan Wars”
“Stan wars” are intense often toxic online debates among dedicated fan communities where aggressive attacks toward celebrities or rival fan groups are common . Although Lara insisted it was “just for fun” the mom found the behavior “immature childish and nasty .”
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Maternal Convictions and Ethical Boundaries
Once the mom saw Lara’s active participation in this negativity she admitted she “couldn’t even see [her] in the same light anymore .” Despite family ties and the fact that Lara had been a regular babysitter she decided she could not risk her daughter being influenced by such harmful behavior .
The Confrontation
When Lara later asked if she could start babysitting again to earn money for a car the mom initially avoided the truth saying they had hired a permanent sitter . Eventually she decided to be honest “After seeing that stan stuff … I didn’t want her to teach my daughter it was okay to be cruel to people .”
A Heated Reaction
Lara reacted defensively accusing the mom of being overly sensitive and self-righteous claiming she was being “policed” from a “high horse .” Still the mom held her ground prioritizing the example she wanted set for her daughter over avoiding family conflict .

Support from the Online Community
When the mom shared her story online Reddit users overwhelmingly backed her decision . One commenter noted “Online bullying is still bullying. She was so confident because she was anonymous until now . Now she’s dealing with the real world consequences .” Many emphasized that children are highly impressionable and allowing someone who engages in cruel online behavior to babysit could send the wrong message .
Final Thoughts: Real Life Consequences for Online Behavior
This situation highlights how online actions can have offline consequences . Lara may have considered her “stan” account harmless entertainment but when her behavior intersected with real world responsibilities—especially the care of a child—the impact became serious . The mother’s decision reflects an important lesson anonymity is not immunity and anyone entrusted with children should model empathy respect and kindness .
